


The Beauty of Ordinary Days

by Tailor1971



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Banter, Blow Jobs, Dirty Talk, Frottage, Future Fic, Gay Sex, Grief/Mourning, Hand Jobs, Husbands, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Loss, M/M, Penis Measuring, Post-Canon, Rimming, Smut, Tender Sex, Tenderness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:41:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 20,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24870982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tailor1971/pseuds/Tailor1971
Summary: This fic is inspired by unfolded73’s “To Come Out the Other Side”, a story about Patrick’s death. This is the story of his last day. It was a good one.(Patrick’s death is referenced in the Epilogue but not explicitly described, other than a very brief reference to a recurring nightmare.)
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 65
Kudos: 78





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [To Come Out the Other Side](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22889041) by [unfolded73](https://archiveofourown.org/users/unfolded73/pseuds/unfolded73). 



> Unfolded73’s “To Come Out the Other Side” explores David’s grief after Patrick dies (presumably in his sleep) from a brain aneurysm. In the story, I was moved by David’s guilt that he did not have a chance to do something special to ensure that Patrick’s last day was a happy one. 
> 
> I woke up one morning at 3 AM with the inspiration for this story and outlined it in half an hour, but it took me six weeks to get all the details right. It was originally a short story, but ended up novella length. The core idea of the story is that even though Patrick’s last day was ordinary, it was filled with love and joy because that is the life he and David built for themselves in Schitt’s Creek. 
> 
> Unfolded73’s fic used a non-linear narrative with time stamps showing how long after Patrick’s death the vignettes occurred. In this story, the time stamps are counting down chronologically to Patrick’s final moment. I thought about leaving the times out, but felt that they were a reminder of the power of the present moment, since we can never know for certain how much time we have left.
> 
> I also use flashbacks to give some context to the moments he experiences throughout the day. Since he died suddenly, Patrick would not have a chance to say good bye to his loved ones or have a life review. I wanted to create moments in his last day to allow him to have these experiences.
> 
> See endnotes for comments about how I made decisions about dates and ages in the story.

_ Sunday, March 5, 2034 _

_ 7:06 AM _

_ 21 hours, 27 minutes before _

Patrick lay in bed with his eyes closed, trying to will himself to fall back asleep until his alarm went off but knowing that it was a losing battle. Finally, he relented and opened his eyes. He glanced at the alarm clock - 7:06 AM. He sighed and turned off his alarm. A soft grey light had started to fill the room, and in the faint illumination he could just make out David’s features as he lay sleeping next to him. Although David had grown so much more confident and trusting since Patrick first met him, it was only in sleep that David looked truly at peace. Patrick contemplated his husband’s face, wondering for a moment if David was lost in a pleasant dream before he got out of bed and shuffled to the bathroom in the dark.

After he peed, he washed his hands and splashed a little cool water on his face. As he toweled off his face and hands, he looked at himself in the mirror and ran his hand through his sleep-tousled hair. At David’s prompting, he had started letting it grow out after his 40th birthday. Now, his hair was almost two inches long on the top of his head, and the wavy curls that he sported in his teenage years had made a comeback - although this time they were shot through with silver. 

His body had changed too since he married David. His love of beer coupled with a mid-life metabolism had softened him and given him a bit of a middle. Hardly qualifying as a beer gut, it was more of a round fullness over his abdomen. Never a vain man, Patrick was taking it in stride. Besides, David seemed quite partial to his little belly. His new favorite thing to do was hug Patrick from behind, his arms embracing his abdomen, silently affirming that he still found his husband irresistibly sexy.

When Alexis visited them last Thanksgiving for the first time in two years, she gave Patrick a warm embrace and greeted him with “Patrick! You look so good! Like a cute little gummy bear!”, playfully booping him on the nose. At that moment Patrick thought:  _ Gummy bears have pudgy bellies. Maybe it’s time to start getting a little more exercise.  _

He grabbed his belly and gave it a little shake, letting out a quiet “hmm” before he turned off the bathroom light and headed downstairs. 

Although he had never been one to go to the gym, preferring to get his exercise through hiking and playing baseball, he grudgingly had to admit that he needed a more targeted plan if he was going to shed some weight over the winter. In December he had purchased some exercise equipment and set it up in a corner of the home office. It was just a chin-up bar, some free weights, and a stair stepper, but of course David had reacted as if Patrick had wheeled in a Trojan Horse full of sporting equipment that would quickly overrun the house. 

Patrick had been meeting with a personal trainer every other week who gave him an individualized program of cardio and calisthenics, and he was coming to enjoy the bit of quiet time that his exercise regimen provided every other morning. He lost five pounds in February so he felt that he was on the right track.

As he rested between sets of chin-ups, he looked at the picture of David and Alexis hanging over the desk and thought back to the fallout from the gummy bear comment (an event he sometimes referred to as “The Gummy Incident”).

\---

_ It was New Year’s Day. David and Alexis were video chatting in the office while Patrick read in the living room.  _

_ “Ew, David, why are you calling me from the gym?” _

_ “I’m not. I’m calling you from what used to be our home office, but now it’s been taken over by Patrick’s exercise equipment.” _

_ “Patrick started working out? Like lifting weights and stuff?” _

_ “I don’t know how any of this works!” David waved his hand at the equipment in the corner. “But yes, he started working out because you told him he looked like a gummy bear!” The volume of David’s voice was rising in indignation. _

_ “Stop being so dramatic, David. I meant it in a good way.” _

_ “What 46 year old man is going to take that in a good way? You basically told my husband he was fat!” _

_ Patrick strolled into the office to say hi to Alexis, already grinning since he had heard the entire exchange. “Hi Alexis! Happy New Year.” _

_ “Happy New Year, Patrick!” Alexis said brightly, her hands pulled up to her chest. “Tell David he’s being silly.” _

_ “Swallow tacks!” David yelled back. _

_ Alexis shot David an angry look, then returned her gaze to Patrick. “Did you start exercising because I called you a cute little gummy bear? I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.” _

_ Patrick answered, “Well, it may have lit a fire under my ass, but it didn’t hurt my feelings. I like when you come up with nicknames for me, Alexis. It makes me feel like part of the family. So whether it’s ‘gummy bear’, or ‘sweet little button face’, or ‘chia pet’ when I was growing my hair out, it reminds me that I have a sister now.” This obviously pleased Alexis, since she smiled brightly and booped the screen. _

_ Patrick turned his attention to David and put his hand on his shoulder. “Look, I have eyes. I can see that I put on some weight. I’m working out so I’ll feel better in my body, not because Alexis called me a gummy bear, and certainly not because I think you’ll love me any less if I don’t, David.” _

_ “Good, because I love your body just the way it is.” David rested his head on Patrick’s belly and hugged him around his waist. _

_ Alexis was clapping and bouncing in her seat. “Oh yay, David! Now you and Patrick can work out together!”  _

_ “Okay, that’s enough out of you, Jillian Michaels!” David said, grimacing and holding his hand up dismissively in front of the computer screen.  _

\---

On his way back upstairs, he looked out the window and saw that it was snowing. A heavy white blanket already covered their front yard. Getting this much snow overnight was going to make driving a nightmare. The highway would likely be plowed before they had to leave, but Schitt’s Creek had one snow plow mounted on the front of a truck that only started about half the time. Once David was awake they would have to come up with a plan for the day.

After his shower, he wiped the steam away from the mirror and started the skin care regimen David had designed for him. It wasn’t much, just some toner, moisturizer with sunscreen, and an under-eye serum, but it helped him feel like he was taking better care of his skin. He had some crow’s feet wrinkles around his eyes that deepened every time he smiled, and a series of little horizontal lines on his forehead where he furrowed his brow every time he got frustrated. Although David reacted to every new line on his face as if it was a personal failure of his skin care regimen, Patrick liked that his face held a record of his emotions. It was the story of his life with David: a few frustrations - ok, a  _ lot _ of frustrations - but a lot of smiles too. He worked a little product into his hair to tame his curls a bit, and then quietly entered the bedroom to pick out his clothes for the day.

Patrick’s closet was neatly and predictably arranged. His sweaters and jeans were meticulously folded and placed in the cubbies to the left. T-shirts and Henleys were folded and placed on the top shelf. His blue blazer and wedding suit were on cedar hangers in garment bags all the way to the right. In the center were his button-ups. 

His button-ups were grouped by type. To the left were shirts with patterns. He didn’t have a lot of these, and they were all blue and white, but the stripes and checks gave him a little variety. In the center were his solid color button-ups since he wore them the most. A good 60% of these were some shade of blue but he was slowly acquiring different colors for when he was feeling a little adventurous. And to the right were the expensive shirts David had bought for him shortly after they were married: a white shirt with a small diamond pattern woven into it, a deep grey shirt that was surprisingly flattering against his pale skin, and one with a bold charcoal and white check. 

His eyes settled on the wine-colored shirt that David had given him for Christmas. He was still getting used to the idea of wearing red, but he was working it into his rotation more and more often since people frequently complimented him when he wore it.

\---

_ “Why don’t you wear your cobalt blue shirt tonight, honey?” David said as they were getting ready to go to dinner in Elmdale for Valentine’s Day. “It will look really good next to my grey sweater.” _

_ “Which one is cobalt again?” Patrick asked, pretending to be confused. He actually remembered from the last time he wore it when David told him he looked good in cobalt, but he wanted to torture David just a little. He  _ was _ kinda treating him like a fashion accessory, after all. _

_ David looked up from the edge of the bed where he had been putting on his shoes. He knew Patrick was just being a little shit but he played along. _

_ “We’ll go through this one more time.” He walked to the closet and started sliding each of Patrick’s shirts along the bar as he named off the colors. _

_ “Baby blue. Periwinkle. Sky blue. Sky blue. Sky blue. Sky blue. Oh my god, Patrick, are they mating? How many sky blue shirts does one man need?” _

_ Patrick just shrugged with one of his smug little upside-down smiles. _

_ "Robin’s egg. Slate. Sapphire. Cobalt.” He stopped to hand the cobalt shirt to Patrick and then continued. “Midnight. Teal. Mint. Emerald. Hunter green. Heliotrope."  _

_ As David approached the last of Patrick’s solid color button-ups, Patrick interrupted “I think I know the next one.” _

_ David looked at him, slowly removed the shirt from the bar, and held it in front of him. He raised his eyebrows, challenging him to name the color. _

_ “Purply-red?” Patrick said, breaking into a smile. _

_ “Wine!” David barked, returning the shirt to his closet with a dramatic flourish. He walked past Patrick with feigned exasperation. “I’ll meet you downstairs.” _

_ Stopping at the bedroom door, he said in a soft voice with just the merest look over his shoulder “Wine tones will make your eyes look richer, as if they needed to be any more beautiful.”  _

\---

Patrick took the wine shirt out of the closet. “Purply-red it is.”

***

Once he was dressed he went downstairs and sat in the breakfast nook in the kitchen. He checked the weather on his phone. The forecast was for snow throughout the morning and afternoon, so Patrick made the executive decision to reschedule David’s day.

Rose Apothecary had been steadily growing since it opened, but in the last five years David and Patrick had focused on expanding the business into new markets. First came the online ordering portal, which was allowing them to reach clientele throughout Canada and the States. In their tenth year in business they opened a store in Elmdale, and just a little over a year ago they opened the Elm Glen location. Although the online portal was profitable, Rose Apothecary was always intended to be a local store selling local wares, so the brick and mortar stores were an important part of the brand. Their small retail empire was unlikely to ever make them rich, but it was definitely keeping them comfortable.

On Sundays, David generally travelled to the Elmdale and Elm Glen locations for team meetings and to assist with ordering, merchandising, and training as needed. Patrick texted the managers at both locations to let them know that David would be coming out later in the week instead. Sundays were a moderately busy day at the Apothecary, but he doubted that too many people would be out and about today because of the weather.

He heard footsteps upstairs, a door closing, and the shower starting up. David was awake. He looked at the time: 8:24. As David had gotten older, he had more trouble sleeping through the night. Although he was now usually up and ready for the day well before 9 AM, calling him a “morning person” would be a stretch because being up earlier just meant that David had longer to complain about being awake before 10 AM. Patrick started making breakfast, brewing David’s coffee, and steeping his tea.

  
  



	2. Chapter 2

_8:52 AM  
19 hours, 41 minutes before ___

____

____

When breakfast was ready, Patrick headed upstairs. He found David sitting on the edge of the bed, putting on his socks. His hair was still damp and unstyled. David had always been handsome, but now he looked _distinguished _as well. His facial features were strong and chiseled now that the plumpness of youth had faded. He still had an enviably full head of thick salt and pepper hair. Having grown out of his trademark quiff years ago, he was now wearing his hair parted on the left and combed slightly back, with the top mid-length and textured and the sides trimmed into a neat low fade over his ears. The hair style had become quite popular in the early 2030s, but David insisted to all that would listen that he of course was one of the early adopters and everyone else was following his lead.__

____

____

David had also long since relaxed his insistence on wearing only neutral colors since he realized that his coloring had changed. He reasoned that the black and white color scheme he favored as a younger man was a bit “high contrast” (his words) for someone whose hair was turning grey. Although his wardrobe was far from colorful, he did have some more variety in the colors that he wore. This morning he was dressed in a deep forest green sweater with a needlessly complex neckline and dark jeans. There was a lot of blue and green in David’s wardrobe nowadays. Patrick liked to think that maybe, just maybe, that was because he influenced David’s wardrobe choices as much David had influenced his.

“Good morning, Sunshine!” Patrick said enthusiastically to tease David, because he knew his husband was grumpy and grumbly before he’d had his coffee. 

“Still too early for _that _.” David said, frowning. He made a small gesture toward the window with his head. “So how is it outside?”__

____

____

“It snowed all night. The roads are pretty bad. I’m rescheduling the Elmdale and Elm Glen meetings for you. More snow is on the way so I think it’s best if we stay close to town.”

“Fuck. This means we’ll have to shovel our walkway _again _. My back is still sore from the last time.”__

____

____

“I know,” Patrick’s voice was tinged with mock concern, since the last time David shovelled the walk was a week ago. “Winter gets harder as you get older.”

“Ew, Patrick, don’t say ‘older’. Gross. We’re both handsome young men in our mid-40s.” David was walking toward Patrick and fiddling with a bracelet on his wrist.

“ _I’m _in my mid 40’s, David. You’re 49. 49 is, like, solidly _late _40’s. One might even say pre-50.” Patrick was pretending to be serious but his eyes sparkled with the glee that came from lovingly poking at his husband’s sensitive spots.____

_____ _

_____ _

David looked up from his bracelet and raised one eyebrow. “ _Pre-50 _? One might say that if they were a troll.” David closed his eyes and shook his head. “Ugh. I wonder how many times I can get away with turning 49.”__

____

____

“One time. You only turn 49 once.” And then something nagged at the back of Patrick’s mind. “You are actually 49, right? You didn’t turn 29 a few times to avoid turning 30...did you?”’

David laughed and rolled his eyes, giving Patrick his scrunchy side smile and placing his hands on Patrick’s shoulders. “No, although that would have been totally on brand. The date you have come to know, love, and celebrate extravagantly _is _my actual birthday.”__

____

____

"Good to know," Patrick said softly, wrapping his arms around David's waist and leaning in to plant a small kiss on his neck. He was looking forward to planning a surprise party for David’s 50th birthday. "I have your coffee and breakfast waiting downstairs."

"You're the best. I'll be right down? I'm just going to fix my hair." David's right hand slid from Patrick's shoulder to his chest, and they shared another kiss before David smiled, pulled back gently, and headed to the bathroom to start what Patrick hoped would be his quick ten minute styling session instead of the more typical twenty-five minute version. 

“Oh, and Patrick?” David said in the bathroom doorway, “you look really good today.”

***

Patrick had breakfast set up in their nook when David finally came downstairs. He had finished eating and was texting while drinking his tea. David went straight for his coffee, took a few sips, and then sighed and relaxed against the back of the bench.

“Okay, let’s start with Elmdale. When does Ben want to meet this week?”

“He’s thinking Tuesday? Jamie is working the morning shift as well so he can break away for an hour or two.”

“That works. We have an order we’ll need to place but it isn’t due until later in the afternoon. Is he able to open up today?” David rubbed his eyes and yawned.

“Yep. Monica is going to open as well.” Patrick’s phone pinged as a text came in, and he typed a quick answer. 

“Great. So when I’m going to Elm Glen this week?”

“Monica says any time on Wednesday would work.”

“My one day off?” David sighed. “Fantastic.”

“Honey, I can meet with Monica on Wednesday. I’ll ask Caleb if he can cover for me in the morning. You keep your day off.” Patrick slipped his phone into his back pocket. He reached out and lightly gripped David’s wrist. “You know, today is going to be really slow. If you want to take today off as well I can cover the store.”

David seemed to consider that option for a minute, but then decided against it. “Nah, I’ll come in. I can do some ordering, and I’ll pull the items for the online sales from this weekend so Caleb can pack and ship them tomorrow.” David shifted in his seat and took a bite of bacon. “Besides, I like working with you at the original store. It reminds me of when we started out.”

“Cool. I’ll appreciate the company.” Patrick smiled, took his last swallow of tea, and carried his dishes to the sink. “I’d love to hang out while you eat but I need to dig out the car. We’re gonna need to get going soon. See you outside in twenty minutes?”

“Thirty,” David said petulantly.

“Ok, let’s meet in the middle and make it _twenty _,” Patrick said, leaning in for a quick kiss.__

____

____

“You think you’re so clever.”

“I am the numbers guy. I’ll see you in 20 minutes.” With that Patrick suited up in his jacket, toque, scarf, and gloves and ventured out into the morning.

***

Patrick grew up in Ontario so he was used to the Canadian winter. He loved the morning after a snowfall when everything was muted and quiet except for the crunch of his boots in the snow. He took a moment to breathe in the brisk air and then went to the backyard to grab the shovel and the snow brush. As he approached his snow-covered car, he was relieved to hear the rumble of the snow plow driving by, clearing snow from the main road. At least the drive into town would not be too difficult. He set to work brushing off the car and scraping the windows. 

When he was almost finished shovelling the driveway David emerged from the house, wearing his peacoat and a scarf. He was hugging himself and making a dramatic show of being cold. Patrick chuckled and tossed him the car keys.

“Honey, start the car and turn on the heat. I’m almost done here.”

The keys arced through the air, hit David on the shoulder with a soft _klink _, and fell to the ground in front of him. David frowned. “Ouch.”__

____

____

Patrick rested his hands on the handle of the snow shovel, leaning forward slightly. “David, that keyring might weigh fifty grams at most. There’s no way that hurt.”

“Keys have sharp edges. They’re basically like little saws. So.”

“Sorry.” Patrick cocked his head to the side. “Here’s an idea, though. Next time try catching them before they hit you.”

“You have to throw them into my hands if you expect me to catch them.”

“Again, not how catching works. C’mon, I’m almost done. Get the car started.” Patrick was starting to get a little irritated, but he made an effort to not let it show in his voice. David could be difficult in the morning until the caffeine kicked in. 

David closed one eye and made a little growly sound with his throat, but then he bent down and picked up the keys. He made a grand show of opening the car door and plopping down onto the seat. Patrick shook his head, laughing to himself. He took the shovel to the backyard and returned to the car. He went to open the driver’s side door but it was locked. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath to calm himself.

“David?” Patrick said, rapping on the window.

David looked over. “What?”

“You have the keys?” 

“Yeah, they’re in the ignition.”

Patrick raised his eyebrows and pointed at the door lock. David shook his head and mouthed another _What _?__

____

____

Patrick tugged on the door handle twice. David’s shoulders slumped when he figured it out and he hit the button to unlock the doors. Patrick slipped into the driver’s seat and put his hand on David’s thigh. “Why did you lock the doors again when you got in the car? Is everything okay, babe?” 

“I don’t know, it’s still early. I’m tired and I’m cold.” He looked over at Patrick with a defeated expression. “Sorry.”

David did look more tired than usual so Patrick let it drop. He gave his thigh a squeeze, then put the car into reverse and backed out of the driveway. “You know, you’d be less cold if you wore your hat and gloves.”

“Maybe,” David began, “but my new gloves are leather. They make my hands sweat and then my hands smell like leather.”

“You literally have a leather-scented body moisturizer, so I’m not sure I see the issue there,” Patrick said as he started down the highway to Schitt’s Creek.

David continued undeterred. “And as for the hat, my hair is at the perfect length between cuts so I’m having a really good hair week. I don’t want to ruin it by flattening it under a hat.”

“David, your hair’ll survive. I wear my toque everywhere and when I take it off I just run my fingers through my hair and it’s fine.”

“But your hairstyle can tolerate a certain amount of abuse and neglect.” 

“Thanks,” Patrick said tentatively, giving David a side eye. “Hey, you could wear ear muffs.”

“Oh my god, eww,” David said, aghast. “Thankfully my ski bunny days are behind me. It was not a cute phase.”

“You never mentioned that you skied.” Patrick’s tone suggested he was impressed that David had some kind of sporting experience in his past.

“I didn’t ski,” David said, shaking his head and pulling his lips back from his teeth. “I did skiers.”

Patrick huffed out a laugh. “Yeah, that tracks.”

***

As they approached Schitt’s Creek, Patrick was shocked to see that most of the major roads in town had been plowed already. Getting to the small parking lot near the Apothecary had not been the ordeal he had imagined it would be. This was good - they had almost thirty minutes before the store opened at 11. Patrick would be able to shovel the front step and sidewalk while David set up the cash for the day.

Once he had parked, Patrick reached over to the glove compartment, pulled out a pair of his knit gloves, and handed them to David. “There you go. At least your hands will be warm now.”

David smirked. “You actually keep gloves in your glove compartment?”

“After thirteen years of marriage, _this _is what surprises you?” Patrick put the gloves on the seat next to David.__

____

____

David tried to suppress a smile. “I’m not sure cherry red fits into the color story I’ve designed for the day.”

Patrick furrowed his brow. “They were a gift from my aunt. She likes red. The color is really a deal breaker for you?”

“After thirteen years of marriage, this is what surprises _you _?” After a pause, David put the gloves on and held them up against his jacket. “I’m just kidding, hon. See? The red is a nice pop of color against my navy coat. Thank you.”__

____

____

Patrick’s face melted into a smile. "As long as you're not worried they'll make your hands smell like wool."

"No chance of that...these are definitely acrylic. But regardless, I think I can make it from here to the shop without getting too sweaty."

As they walked from the parking lot to the Apothecary, Patrick looked up at the sky. It wasn’t currently snowing, but the sky was grey and overcast. More snow was definitely on the way. They would have to play the day by ear and close up shop if it looked like there was a chance they would get snowed in at Schitt’s Creek. 

David unlocked the door and they stepped inside their shop. Patrick put his hand on David’s back and slipped past him, disappearing into the back room to grab the snow shovel. When he returned from the back, David was organizing the product on the central table. Yesterday had been really busy and Patrick had not done the best job closing.

“Sorry, babe. I just wanted to get out of here last night.”

“Don’t worry about it. It’ll give me something to do this morning.”

“In addition to setting up the cash,” Patrick said matter-of-factly. It was always a good idea to make sure David wasn’t getting distracted.

David closed his eyes and rolled his head to the side. “Yes, exactly, which I am going to go do right now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to include some classic David and Patrick banter right at the start of their day. 
> 
> I know I changed David’s look a bit with a new haircut and a sweater that wasn’t black and white, but I really do think he would have consistently evolved his style over time. Once he had some money again he would start refreshing his wardrobe...maybe not with designer runway samples, but he would stay current with trends.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a long chapter, but I didn’t want to break up the mid-day sexy time across two chapters.

_11:21 AM  
17 hours, 12 minutes before ___

____

____

Shortly after they opened, an attractive, dark-haired man in his twenties entered the shop, kicking snow off his boots as he crossed the threshold. He was a regular customer named Jakob. A young gay man who had recently moved to Schitt’s Creek, he had met David and Patrick when they did a pop-up shop at the Dude Cave to promote their new line of all natural lubes. Patrick had been skeptical of the idea, but it ended up bringing in a lot of regular customers. The queer community in Schitt’s Creek was relatively small, but word spread quickly to the larger communities in Elmdale, Elm Glen, and Elm Lake that there was a gay-owned business in the area. Although David had objected at first for purely aesthetic reasons, he did finally let Patrick put a rainbow flag sticker on the front door to proudly proclaim their community affiliation. 

As word of mouth increased the popularity of the lubes, David expanded the product line and included a penile health cream. The penis cream was a hard sell for Patrick, who reasoned that applying it was really just a reason to jerk off, but David assured him that it increased blood flow and heightened sensitivity. It turned out to be fairly popular with their male clientele. (Patrick was still convinced they just used it to jerk off, but he kept his opinion to himself.)

“Hi Jakob!” Patrick said. “Thanks for braving the weather and stopping in.”

Jakob smiled. “Yeah, you bet. It’s not too bad out there right now. So...the guy I’m dating from Elmdale was going to be heading back this afternoon, but now it looks like he might spend the night again. I was going to pick up some lunch at the cafe, and when I saw that you were open I thought I might pick up something….you know, _special _for tonight.”__

____

__

David had walked over to say hi, and when he heard the reason for Jakob’s visit he lit up.  
“Something special, hmm? What did you have in mind?”

“Maybe some wine, some chocolate, some…” Jakob’s eyes darted over to the small display of lube on the shelf in the back corner.

“I think we can help with that. Patrick, why don’t you grab a bottle of the Cedar Grove merlot and some of the new dark chocolate and sea salt truffles, and I’ll help Jakob with the rest.” As Patrick pulled together the requested items, David and Jakob walked to the back of the store.  
Patrick eavesdropped on their conversation, a little curious if Jakob would provide any racy details about what he had planned with his new guy. 

“So what kind of adult activities are you and this gentleman engaging in?”

“Well, he’s not a fan of anal, other than rimming. So mostly blowjobs. He’s the first guy I’ve dated who is really into frot, but the lube I have starts to dry out and gets sticky after a little while.”

“Yeah, water-based lubes can do that sometimes.” David picked up one of the bottles and handed it to Jakob. “One of our natural oil-based options would probably be the best choice for marathon frot sessions. This one’s not condom safe and it requires a little extra clean up, but it stays slick for a really long time...”

Patrick remembered a time when a frank discussion about gay sex was so novel and titillating that it caused him to blush and stutter.

\---

_On their third date, David said “I know we’re taking things slow, and I am fine with that. And I’m not asking because I’m trying to rush anything, but... do you have any questions about being with a man?”_

__

__

_“Yeah. Where do I start?” Patrick bit his lower lip and looked down at his hands. It was an endearing experience to watch Patrick Brewer, who always seemed self-assured and confident in himself, seem so tentative and unsure about something that had become second nature to David. “I’ve been watching some porn. For research. I’m nervous about…” ___

____

__

_“About…?” David waited, but Patrick didn’t answer so he said “Butt stuff?” ___

____

__

_“Yeah. I mean, I’ve touched myself there sometimes when I jerk off to see what it’s like. It feels good. I like it. But I haven’t put anything inside yet.” ___

____

____

_“It’s Important not to rush that...we can work on that together. But we can still have sex before then” ___

____

____

_Patrick gave a slight nod, but still looked unsure. “You mean, like I would...do you, while I’m practicing?” ___

____

____

_“Sure, that would be great, but let’s maybe start with something that would feel less overwhelming for you.” ___

____

____

_Patrick nodded and gave David a shy smile. ___

____

____

_“Patrick, it’s important to remember that gay porn is a fantasy. It makes it seem like all gay sex is anal sex, and it leaves a lot out. Like taking time to relax the bottom’s asshole, and you know, douching, lube, and any communication between the guys. Since straight sex is pretty much always defined as penetration, it makes sense that you would think that gay sex has to be anal sex. We have a lot of choices, though.” ___

____

____

_“Like blowjobs,” Patrick said with more conviction. ___

____

____

_“Yes, definitely blowjobs. And for some men, that’s as far as they go, and that’s okay. There’s also frot.” ___

____

____

_Patrick furrowed his brow. That was a word he hadn’t encountered yet. ___

____

____

_“Frot is rubbing your dicks together, or rubbing your dick on his body, like his stomach or between his butt cheeks.” ___

____

____

_“Do you like that?” Patrick asked. ___

____

____

_“I do, but more for foreplay. I find it’s hard to get enough friction to come that way. Unless I haven’t come in a really long time.” ___

____

____

_“It sounds like it would be hot, to rub my dick against yours.”_

__

__

_David nodded, and reached across the table to place his hand on Patrick’s. Patrick looked directly into his eyes for the first time since the sex talk began and gave David a small smile. His ears were bright red. ___

____

____

_“Do you want to talk about more?” David’s voice was so calm and reassuring. ___

____

____

_“Yeah,” Patrick said. His mouth was dry. He was pretty certain he had never talked about sex this openly and for this long with anyone else. But he definitely wanted to hear more. ___

____

____

_“Handjobs are always an option, which I’m sure you’ve experienced with your girlfriends. Guys tend to be a little bit better at them right off the bat, since we’ve been giving ourselves handjobs since we were boys. And some guys like mutual masturbation.” ___

____

____

_“Like jerking each other off at the same time?” Patrick tried to imagine how that would work if both guys were right-handed, like he and David were. ___

____

____

_“Sometimes. And sometimes guys just like to jerk off with other guys, either in person or online.” ___

____

____

_“Hmmm,” Patrick said, not entirely sure why someone would choose to jerk off if there was someone right there that they could do more with, but he knew he still had a lot to learn about gay men and gay sex. “Do you like handjobs, David?” ___

____

____

_“I do. They aren’t always as intimate or intense as fucking, but once you know a man well you can play his dick like a musical instrument. A handjob gives you a lot of control.” ___

____

____

_Patrick nodded, taking it all in. “There’s something else I wanted to ask about. In the videos I’ve watched, a lot of times one of the guys, um….licks the other guy’s asshole.” Patrick all but whispered the last part, clearly concerned that someone might hear. ___

____

____

_“Rimming,” David explained. “It feels really good, and it’s fun for the guy doing it. Did you go down on any of your girlfriends?” ___

____

____

_“I mean, yeah, mostly Rachel. It’s not something I did if I only dated a girl a few times.” ___

____

____

_“Ok, you’ll do fine with rimming.” ___

____

____

_Their waiter had come back to refill their water glasses, and the smile he gave them confirmed that he had heard David’s last comment. Patrick and David started laughing, and it felt good. It broke the tension that had built up. ___

____

____

_After they had ordered dessert, Patrick was ready to return to the sex discussion, and this time he seemed a little less tentative. “So what’s your favorite thing to do? You know, sex-wise?” ___

____

____

_“I know what you meant,” David said, giving Patrick a half smile. “I like it all, but I do really like anal sex.” ___

____

____

_“Do you like..um, being top or bottom?” ___

____

____

_“Both. Historically, I usually ended up bottoming because I would pick guys who treated topping like a power trip. But if I had my choice, I like being the top. I really like taking care of the man I’m with. Taking my time to relax him, making sure the angle is right, making sure he feels comfortable.” ___

____

____

_“I want you inside me, David.” The unvarnished vulnerability of that admission was both terrifying and electrifying for Patrick. “Uh, not tonight, obviously. But I’m always in charge all the time. I think it would be nice to be taken care of…” Patrick swallowed thickly, “to let a man take me.” ___

____

____

_“I’ll take good care of you, Patrick. When you’re ready.” He took both of Patrick’s hands in his.  
“You have beautiful eyes. They’re the color of whiskey.” ___

____

____

_That comment sent Patrick’s mind spinning. Their chocolate cake arrived, and while he ate his dessert, his mind pictured David on top of him, filling him, looking into his eyes and kissing him with the taste of whiskey on his tongue. ___

____

____

__

__

\---

David brought Jakob’s lube to the front of the store and joined Patrick behind the counter. Jakob added a lip balm to his order while Patrick was ringing him up. 

“I don’t want to get chapped lips from all the making out,” Jakob said, and the three of them shared a laugh. “I’m really glad you guys are here. It’s nice knowing I’m not alone in town.”

“You should come to the next open mic night in a few weeks,” Patrick offered. “It’s a good time, and a lot of guys come in from the surrounding towns.” He handed Jakob the small flier that David had designed.

“I’ll try and make it. I’m not much of a performer, but it would be great to meet some other people in the community. Thanks again, David, for the recommendations. Have a good day, guys.”

They waved and watched Jakob trudge through the snow in the direction of the cafe. Now that they were alone, Patrick hooked his finger through one of David’s belt loops and pulled him close.

“Hey, do you remember our third date when we had the talk about gay sex?”

“Yeah, I do. It was all so new to you. You were adorable. And sexy.” David ran his hands up and down Patrick’s biceps.

“I don’t know how I made it through dessert with all the fantasies running through my head. When I dropped you off at the motel, I was hard even before we started making out.”

“I know, your jeans were very tight that night.”

“And then you asked if we could show each other our dicks...just a quick flash before we got caught. The sight of your dick lit me on fire. I don’t think you know how close I was to saying ‘Fuck it’ and blowing you right there in the motel parking lot.” Patrick ran his tongue along his lower lip.

“I would have been very okay with that.” David’s eyes were darkening, and his voice was husky.

“When I got home that night, I didn’t even get fully undressed. I just undid my belt and fly and pulled out my dick. I jerked off while I fantasized about you fucking me. I had no idea at the time what it would feel like, but I wanted it more than anything. I came harder than I ever had in my life. My cum hit me in the face and got in my hair. That was a first.”

David smiled. “You left that part out when you told me about it the next morning.”

“I was still a little traumatized from passing Ray on the way to the bathroom. _Anyway _, I had no idea what was in store for me.” Patrick had moved his hands under David’s sweater and undershirt and had his hands on the warm skin of David’s lower back.__

____

____

“Yeah, that first year was really fun. I enjoyed corrupting you.” David took Patrick’s phone out of his pocket and placed it on the counter. He then slid his hands into Patrick’s back pockets.

“I enjoyed being corrupted. At the time though I remember wishing that I could have shown you something new, too. Something you hadn’t experienced before.”

“You did. You showed me what it felt like to be loved.”

David moved closer to Patrick so that their foreheads were almost touching. Patrick could feel David’s warm breath as he moved his hands up his body and slowly undid the top button of his shirt. 

“Don’t start what you can’t finish, David Rose,” Patrick whispered.

“Who says I won’t be able to finish,” David said, kissing and licking Patrick’s ear lobe. 

They were startled when Patrick’s cell phone rang. He picked it up from the counter and then all but threw it down as if it had given him an electric shock. “Shit, it’s my mom.”

“Answer it! She’s probably calling because of the storm.”

“Really? I have a hard-on, David. Not the ideal time to be talking to my mom.” Patrick said as he rebuttoned his shirt and wiped at his ear where David’s tongue had been moments before.

David picked up the phone. “I got this. Go think about baseball and tame _that _,” David said, waving his hand in the vicinity of Patrick’s crotch. “Then come out when you’re ready.”__

____

____

“Uh, you’re hard too.” Patrick said, looking at the obvious bulge in David’s jeans. 

"Just a semi. And I’ve done way worse.” He anticipated Patrick’s question, so he put up his hand and said “Don’t ask.” Then he answered the phone. “Hi Marcy!, No, it’s David. Patrick had to step into the back, but he’ll be back in a minute. How are you and Clint?””

Patrick shook his head in disbelief and stepped behind the curtain. In the back room he could hear David casually talking with his mother about the snow and how slow the morning had been at the store. He took a deep breath and took David’s advice, thinking about the most recent baseball game he played. It worked. Feeling more comfortable, he went back to the counter and motioned for David to hand him the phone.

“Patrick’s back. It was great talking to you, Marcy! Say hi to Clint for me.” He handed the phone to Patrick and raised one eyebrow. 

David was being playful, but before Patrick could process what he might have in mind he was already talking to his mom. “Hi mom, how have you been?...Yeah, it’s nice to be working with David in the Schitt’s Creek store. Just like old times.”

While he was talking, David slipped behind him and hugged him around his waist. Then he started kissing Patrick’s neck and breathing down his collar.

“Just a sec, mom,” Patrick said, putting his phone on mute and turning to face David. “Seriously? I love you, but it's not the time for this.”

David shrugged his shoulders with a self-satisfied smirk and walked out from behind the counter. He made an exaggerated gesture to look over the counter at Patrick’s crotch. “Do you need me to rattle off some baseball stats?”

“Although I would love to see how that plays out, I’m good. But I might have to cut you off if you can’t behave.”

“A bold but empty threat” David said with a little shake of his head.

Patrick smiled, flipped him off, and resumed the conversation with his mom. “Hi mom, yeah, sorry. We had a customer. Kind of an annoying one.” He shot a glance at David, grinning.

David raised his eyebrows and brought his hand up to his chest, pretending to take offense. “Me?” he whispered. ”Annoying? Hmm.” Then he gave Patrick a look over his right shoulder, shrugged, and went back to planning an order.

Patrick talked to his mother about their weekend, about the weather, about how the store was doing, about everything and nothing. He looked over at David, who had stopped working and was looking at Patrick affectionately. “Well, I should get back to work, mom. Tell dad I said hi and send my love. How ‘bout I call you on Tuesday? It’s my day off so we can talk for as long as we want...I love you too. Talk to you again soon...Bye."

“Aren’t you glad we answered the phone?”

"I am. But now it’s lunch time. Time to finish what you started."

"Wow. You held out for a whole twenty minutes. Impressive. I should take your threats more seriously." David locked the door and put up the _‘We’ll be right back!' _sign. (Everyone in town knew the sign meant ‘ _Patrick and David are in the backroom making out! _' and they were not shy about knocking, so he never worried about losing a sale.) He met Patrick behind the counter and put his arms on his shoulders while Patrick hugged his waist.____

_____ _

_____ _

"We're only making out, though. Pants stay on. We have to be professional, after all." 

"Whatever you say, boss," David said as he followed Patrick into the back room. 

Ten minutes later, they were locked in a deep kiss on the couch in their backroom. David was bare chested and Patrick’s shirt was unbuttoned and his undershirt pushed up to expose his chest and stomach. Patrick made the first move to be unprofessional, reaching for the fly of David’s jeans.

David put his hand over Patrick’s to stop him. With one more tongue flick to Patrick’s right nipple, he pulled his undershirt back down and said, “That’s enough for now. Button back up. We both need to eat something.” 

From the glint in Patrick’s eye he could see the double entendre forming on the tip of his tongue, so he put a finger to his lips and said “Food. I’m going to go get some sandwiches from the cafe.”

Patrick whined a little but started buttoning his shirt while David slipped back into his undershirt and sweater. As David was putting on his coat, Patrick rubbed himself through his jeans and said, “It’s really not fair to leave me this way.”

David slowly bent forward until he was eye to eye with Patrick and whispered, “Consider it payback for calling me annoying.” He then disappeared behind the curtain. Patrick’s mouth dropped open and he searched for a comeback that did not materialize in time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The great come/cum debate. I have always used “come’ as a verb, and “cum” as a noun. And don’t worry...I’m sure Patrick cleaned up a little bit before he passed Ray in the hallway. 
> 
> Also, penile health cream is a real thing. And probably most often used for jerking off.


	4. Chapter 4

_2:19 PM_

_14 hours, 14 minutes before_

In the late afternoon, the chill in the air intensified so Patrick grabbed his conservative, boring-but-totally-fine grey cardigan. He kept it draped over the chair at the desk in the back room. This elicited semi-regular jabs from David (“Patrick! Knits need to be stored flat.”), who would then fold it and place it on the table in the corner. Moving the cardigan back and forth from the back of the chair to the table had become one of the little games they played with each other.

The cardigan had definitely seen better days. The elbows were wearing a little thin, the buttonholes were a little stretched out, and the corner of one of the pockets had come unstitched and was curling away from the sweater. Patrick could have replaced it years ago, but it had gotten really comfortable. Besides, it was kind of like a fixture at the Apothecary now, so Patrick planned to wear it until it completely fell apart.

He noticed a new defect as he put the sweater on - a small hole where the left cuff was starting to separate from the sleeve. Patrick did a little mental calculation and realized it had been nearly five years since he had bought it and worn it to work for the first time.

\---

_David returned from a visit with a vendor, carrying a large box of sample products in front of him. He placed it on the counter and took off his sunglasses. He saw Patrick wearing the cardigan and his mouth dropped open. He held up his hands in mock horror, exclaiming, “Oh my god, what is that?”_

_“It’s called a cardigan, David. People that don’t wear sweaters every day use them when they start to get cold.”_

_Patrick watched as a series of expressions moved rapidly over David’s face. His mind was clearly reviewing its options for how to respond to Patrick’s most recent choice of insipid practicality over style. Patrick was surprised by the one that eventually won the struggle._

_David squinted his eyes and made the half smile that he did sometimes when he was flirting. He braced his hands on the counter and leaned in until he was inches away from Patrick’s face._

_"I guess it’s a good thing that I have a Mr. Rogers kink.”_

_Patrick cracked a small smile and played along. “Oh really, Well, it’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood. Won’t you be my neighbor?” David nodded and closed the space between them until they were half kissing and half laughing._

_“That was nice. But just to be clear we’re never doing this again, right?” David said, moving his hands in quick circles over the counter._

_“Noooooo, nope.” Patrick shook his head and laughed._

\---

Another memory, this one bittersweet, surfaced for Patrick while he watched David organize a display of hand poured beeswax candles.

\---

_It was the time last year when the stress from opening the new location in Elm Glen caused a heated argument that resulted in an hours-long pained silence. Near the end of the day, David gave Patrick a sidelong glance and then retreated into the back room. Patrick started to follow, ready to apologize for his part in the fight. He stopped in the doorway. David was by the desk. He picked up the cardigan from the back of the chair, shaking his head in frustration. Then Patrick heard him sigh, and watched as David brought the sweater to his face briefly to be comforted by Patrick’s scent before he folded it and placed it in its proper place on the table._

_“David, I’m sorry.” Patrick took a tentative step into the backroom, letting the curtain fall closed behind him._

_David turned to face him. “Me too.” He reached out his hand, and Patrick stepped forward to take it in his. David pulled him into a hug. “We need to talk about it, but right now I just need you to hold me.”_

_Patrick kissed his neck. “We’ll figure it out. I love you.”_

_“I love you too, Patrick.”_

\---

While Patrick was lost in thought, David turned to look at him while he asked him a question about a candle. “Honey, do you remember what Jeremy said about the pine scented - Oh! Getting a little cold, grandpa?’ David joked, putting the candle down and looking at Patrick appraisingly. 

He secretly loved seeing Patrick wearing that ratty old sweater. The cardigan was a concession to age and a visible reminder that they were growing old together. But at the same time he felt it was his duty to mercilessly tease Patrick about it.

“Yep, and my shoulder is starting to ache too, so there must be another storm a-brewin’.” Patrick said, rolling his right shoulder in exaggerated circles.

"Let me know if I need to grab your cane from the back."

Patrick rubbed the whiskers on his chin, nodding slightly. "You know, I've been giving it some thought, and it might be time to trade in the cane for a proper walker."

“I see...Well just don’t do that thing where you put dirty tennis balls on the legs.” David shivered at the thought.

Leaning forward and placing his arms on the counter, Patrick said, "Oh, there's gonna be tennis balls."

“Mmm, mmhmm,” David said, grimacing. “That sounds like it will be a really good look for you.”

Patrick huffed out a chuckle and broke into a wide smile.

_(I’ve never liked a smile as much as I’ve liked yours)_

David smiled back, rolling his eyes and turning toward the door as the bell rang and signaled the arrival of another customer.

***

By 3:30 David was finished with placing orders and pulling items for the online sales and was clearly getting bored. There hadn’t been a customer in over twenty minutes. He listlessly rearranged the lip balms at the counter while Patrick finished dusting the shelf along the back wall. As Patrick returned to stand behind the counter next to him, David stood up straight and visibly brightened.

“Are you looking forward to movie night?”

“Yeah, definitely,” Patrick answered. It was David’s week to choose, so he had an idea of what to expect. “What rom-com are we watching tonight?”

“ _Twist of Fate_. It stars Liam Walker...I know he’s one of your favorite actors.”

Patrick put his hands in his pockets and rocked back on his heels. “Well, not for his acting ability. But he’s always good for a little eye candy.”

Patrick was blushing and his ears were turning red. David reached out and gave Patrick’s bicep a squeeze. “It’s ok if you have a little crush on Liam Walker. It’s cute.”

Now Patrick was a little flustered. “I don’t know if wanting to see a hot guy’s abs counts as a crush.” David just looked at him fondly. “Ok, maybe I’m a little infatuated with him. It’s a new experience for me. I didn’t always recognize my crushes for what they were when I was younger.”

“I know, and I love this for you.”

Patrick gave him a small, shy smile. ”So, is Stevie still gonna be able to make it tonight?”

“Yeah, we were texting earlier. She said she wouldn’t miss it for the world. And also that this is sometimes the only event on her social calendar for the week, which was a dark place to go after a smiley face emoji.”

Patrick slipped his hands under David’s sweater and held him around his waist. “Hey, it’s obviously going to be a really slow afternoon. Why don’t you walk over to her place and spend some time with her and then drive home together? I know you haven’t had a chance to see her since she got back from the city.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, no problem. I’ll finish all the closing duties this afternoon so that all I have to do at five is close out the register. I’ll be home by 5:45 at the latest.” Patrick gave David a little squeeze and then reached under the counter for a notebook and pencil.

“Ok, let me text her and see what she says.” David pulled out his phone and leaned against the counter. Patrick went to the central table and took notes about what had sold so he could replenish the stock before the end of the day.

A couple of minutes and a few more texts later, David said, “Ok, she’s in.” Patrick looked up from his notepad and he and David made eye contact. Patrick gave him a small upside-down smile. _God, I love this man_ , David thought, and then said, “Thanks.”

“Sure thing.”

David ducked behind the curtain to grab his coat and scarf. As he emerged from the back room, Patrick motioned for him to come to the front window of the store. “It’s snowing again.” Large, soft flakes were falling lazily through the air. David slipped his hand around Patrick’s waist, and Patrick did the same to David. 

_(I’ve never felt as safe as when I’m with you)_

“It really is beautiful,” David said, and they watched the snow in silence for a few minutes, with Patrick leaning his head on David’s shoulder. “Until you have to go outside in it.”

Patrick laughed and gave David a playful slap on the ass. “Ok, get out of here. I’ll see you in a couple hours. Love you.”

“Love you, too.” They shared a quick kiss and then David left the store, a small flurry of snow blowing into the store once the door was opened. After a few steps, David turned to look back and saw that Patrick was still watching him. He smiled and raised his hand in a small wave. Patrick waved back, grinning widely, then David turned and was on his way to Stevie’s apartment.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just really loved the idea of middle-aged Patrick in a cardigan and it took on a life of its own.


	5. Chapter 5

_3:49 PM_

_12 hours, 44 minutes before_

As he restocked merchandise and organized the products on the shelves, Patrick turned on David’s new playlist of the “Best Love Songs of the 90’s and 2000’s”. The first song was “Always Be My Baby”, and Patrick started singing along. Since their song, “The Best,” was released in the 80’s, it would be _incorrect_ to include it on the playlist, so David chose the next most important song for them - the one Patrick sang to him as part of his wedding vows.

By the tenth song in the queue he was sweeping the floor, and he stopped in his tracks as the first notes of the song began.

_“We’ll do it all, everything, on our own.”_

It was Snow Patrol’s _Chasing Cars_. David didn’t know the significance of the song when he made the playlist - he couldn’t have. This was Rachel and Patrick’s song.

\---

_It was a warm Sunday night in mid-August 2006, a few weeks before they would begin their sophomore year in college. Friends throughout high school, Patrick and Rachel had started officially dating during their senior year. Now they were going to different colleges, and although they weren’t living that far apart - they still saw each other frequently on weekends and holidays - freshman year had been the first year where they hadn’t seen each other nearly every day._

_Rachel was visiting Patrick at the tiny studio apartment he was renting off-campus. It was sparsely appointed with worn, mismatched thrift store furniture, but it was the first place he could call his own and he had pride in it despite its shabby appearance. This was the last night of Rachel’s stay - in the morning she would be driving home to visit with her parents before returning to campus for the beginning of classes._

_Patrick had given a lot of thought to how to make this night special. He made dinner, and after they ate he led Rachel to the small loveseat in the corner of the studio that served as his living room. He lit some candles and turned out the lights. He brought out his guitar and took a seat next to her. Rachel knew that he had taken up guitar this year, but she had only heard him practicing chords a few times on previous visits._

_“Rachel, I’ve been practicing a song that expresses how I feel about you, and I wanted to play it for you tonight.” Patrick started playing his arrangement of_ Chasing Cars _. He stumbled a little on a few of the opening notes, but then he found his rhythm and began singing. He looked into Rachel’s eyes while he sang, smiling sheepishly between verses. Serenading a lover was still a new and exciting, but slightly uncomfortable, experience._

_As Rachel watched him, her eyes became glassy and soon tears were tracing shimmering tracks down her cheeks. When the song was done, Patrick set his guitar down and Rachel leaned forward, taking his face in her hands and kissing him gently._

_“Thank you, Patrick. That was beautiful.”_

_He leaned in and kissed her again, and the kiss deepened. Patrick took her in his arms and her hands dropped to his shoulders, then to his chest. They moved to his bed, taking their time kissing, undressing, and touching each other’s bodies while illuminated by the warm amber glow of the candles._

_He knew Rachel was taking birth control pills, but they still used condoms. Tonight, though, lost in the moment, he entered her without a condom. He made love to her slowly, her arms and legs holding him tightly, sometimes looking into her eyes and sometimes kissing her gently. His head dropped to her shoulder and she felt his breathing and heartbeat quicken._

_She whispered, “Come inside me, Patrick”, and he surged forward one last time, spilling into her while he gasped, “I love you”. And in that instant he felt like he knew love. It wasn’t just something he had said because it was expected in the moment, as he had done so many times before. This was as overpowering a feeling as he had ever known, so it had to be love. It had to be what was being described in the song he had sung to her._ This had to be love.

_Afterwards, lying together in the dark, he studied the contours of her face. There was a streetlight outside his window that cast just enough light into the apartment to see by. Looking into her eyes in the half-light, he was struck by her beauty. Maybe he had turned a corner tonight. Maybe the doubts about his sexuality that had just started to darken the edges of his mind could be driven back and buried if he just held onto the way he felt right now._

\---

_“If I lay here, if I just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world?”_

_\---_

_Then his mind flashed forward to the barbecue with the Rose family, when his past and present collided. After leaving David’s room, emotionally distraught, he made his way to Rachel’s room. In one room of the motel he had just told someone he loved that they made him feel right, and now in a different room he had to explain to another person he loved why their relationship never felt right. All the while he knew there was a chance that he might lose both of them from his life tonight._

_When he knocked and opened the door to her room, Rachel was sitting on the bed. She looked up at him as he entered. “I’m really confused, Patrick. Alexis said you’re dating her brother? Are you bisexual, or gay, or what?”_

_Patrick carefully approached the bed and sat down slowly, keeping a little distance between them. “I’m gay, Rachel.” Patrick swallowed thickly. “David and I have been together for four months.” He watched as the news really sunk in for her, and he knew that she was looking back over everything they had shared with new eyes. She would pass their life through a filter - revisiting every word, every experience, every touch - the way he himself had done on his morning hikes to Rattlesnake Point._

_“I need to know something.”_

_“You can ask me anything,” he said, and his heart sank and ached for her because he already knew the question she needed to ask._

_She looked down at her hands, and when she spoke again her voice was trembling. “Does this mean...that it was never real for us? That you never loved me?”_

_Patrick shook his head. “No, Rachel, I loved you. I still love you. It’s just...it’s different...with David...” He was stumbling on his words. He wanted so much to help her understand. He took a deep breath. “Rachel, I love you. I have loved you for so long. But I had to leave because I knew that I couldn’t love you the way I needed to if I was going to be your husband.”_

_Rachel started crying, and Patrick did too, as memories of love, and heartache, and friendship, and regret washed over them both. He tentatively reached for her hand, but she leaned toward him and hugged him. He hugged her back and they cried together._

_“I’m so sorry for hurting you, Rachel. I only figured this out about myself once I got here. I wish I had been able to give you a better reason for leaving. I just knew I had to let you go so you could find a man who would love you better than I could.”_

_He felt Rachel’s tears wetting the shoulder of his shirt and it broke his heart. He searched his mind for anything he could say to ease her pain. But before he could say anything else, Rachel spoke again, her voice little more than a whisper._

_“Patrick, if you knew you were gay, why didn’t you just tell me when I started texting you about getting back together?”_

_Patrick sighed heavily. It was a fair question. “I was scared. But you should have been the first person I told. I owed that to you, and I blew it. I hope that someday you can forgive me, Rachel.”_

_Rachel pulled back from the hug so she could look Patrick in the eyes. She wiped her face with her sleeve. “I’ll need some time to process all of this, Patrick. But I still love you and I want you in my life. We’ve been friends too long for this to be it.”_

_“I want that too. Take all the time you need.” He got up and walked toward the door to leave._

_“Patrick, wait.” He turned to face her, tears still streaming from his red-rimmed eyes while she continued. “You could’ve gone through with the marriage and tried to be a husband to me. We probably could have made it work for years. But after a while we both would have known that it wasn’t right, and even though I was devastated when you broke off our engagement, watching our marriage slowly fall apart would have hurt me even more. Thank you. For letting me go.”_

_She got up from the bed and they met in the middle of the room and hugged again._

_“It was the hardest decision of my life.”_

\---

_“I don’t know where, confused about how as well, just know that these things will never change for us at all”_

He pulled out his phone and texted Rachel. 

**Patrick:** Did you guys get hit by the storm as well?

 **Rachel:** Maybe not as bad as you but we got a lot

 **Patrick:** The boys must be loving it

 **Rachel:** They’re in the yard trying to build a snowman. Just a sec

A few seconds later Rachel sent him a picture. Two young boys, dressed in bright snow suits, were standing next to a slightly conical column of snow. Two small pieces of gravel had been used to mark the eyes, and a red scarf was wrapped around the area that would be the neck of the snowman. The scarf apparently belonged to the older child since the younger child’s face was still almost completely obscured by his scarf. 

**Patrick:** Wow they’re getting really big

 **Rachel:** I know. Daniel is 10 and Noah is going to be 7 in May. Are you and David thinking about coming up for a visit again soon?

 **Patrick:** Maybe in the Spring? I’ll have a lot to do to wrap up the first quarter but then we can probably get away for a weekend

 **Rachel:** Good, the boys miss their Uncle Paddy and Uncle David

 **Patrick:** I miss them too. And you.

 **Rachel:** Miss you too. I should get these kids cleaned up and start dinner. Talk again soon?

 **Patrick:** For sure. Love you, Rach

 **Rachel:** Love you too. Tell David I said hi

 **Patrick:** Tell Aidan I said hi as well

 **Rachel:** <thumbs up emoji> <blowing kiss emoji>

He put his phone in his back pocket. Crossing his arms, he leaned back against the counter and watched the snow falling outside. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> People have different interpretations about Patrick and Rachel’s relationship and whether it was an impulsive decision to end their engagement or an agonizing one. I think it was probably the hardest decision he had to make, for two reasons. One, they were best friends and had known each other most of their lives. That kind of comfort and familiarity can be hard to walk away from. Second, because part of him knew that once he broke off the engagement he would have to face the deeper reason why.
> 
> The cover of Snow Patrol’s Chasing Cars that inspired the scene between Rachel and Patrick in 2006 is the Boyce Avenue acoustic cover. I liked the idea of having him serenade Rachel, because Patrick Brewer had a playbook and he would have perfected it with Rachel.


	6. Chapter 6

_ 5:47 PM _

_ 10 hours, 46 minutes before _

  
Patrick came in the back door that opened into the kitchen. David and Stevie were standing at the island in the center of the kitchen, chatting while David cut vegetables for the salad. He greeted them both as he shucked off his boots and hung up his jacket.

David had his back to the door, so Patrick came up behind him and put his arm around his waist. David turned his head to the side and kissed him. He then walked around the island to give Stevie a hug.

Stevie gave him a wide smile. “Hi Patrick.”

“Hi! I can’t wait to hear about the most recent trip to New York”.

“That is definitely something we can talk about.” And then, thinking that wasn’t much of an answer, she added, “It was good.”

Patrick smiled and took off his toque and scarf. He ran his fingers through his hair (and god damn it, David was right. His hairstyle  _ could _ tolerate more abuse and neglect).

David finished cutting some carrots and added them to the salad. “How was the rest of the afternoon?’

“Super slow.” Patrick fished a carrot out of the salad and popped it in his mouth before David could smack it out of his hand. “I only had two customers after you left. I texted with Rachel a little. She says hi. She sent a picture of the boys.” 

Patrick retrieved his phone from his back pocket and pulled up the picture. He showed Stevie first, then David. David had started to cut up a tomato but glanced up at his phone. “Aww, cute. Why did they wrap a scarf around a traffic cone?”

Patrick regarded David with a tight-lipped expression. “Pretty sure that’s supposed to be a snowman, David.”

“Oh my god,” David said, grabbing Patrick’s hand and pulling the phone closer. “See, this is why kids need guncles...to help channel these raw creative impulses.”

“I’ll go get started on the mood board for their snow fort."

“A snow fort would actually need blueprints, but I appreciate the attempt.”

“It’s a good thing you’re pretty,” Patrick said, pulling David closer with an arm around his waist and kissing his neck. “I’m going to change my shirt before dinner. Be right down.”

David called after him, “Change your socks too. You’ve been in your boots all day and we have company.”

“Yes, dear,” Patrick answered from the stairs.

David sucked his teeth and turned back to Stevie. “Those boots are a menace. Not. Breathable.”

***

While Stevie helped set the table, David brought the lasagne and salad from the kitchen to the dining room. Patrick, now wearing a light blue T-shirt and a grey hoodie, brought in a bottle of wine and asked, “Is red wine ok with everyone?”

Stevie chuckled. “I think we’re all fans of red wine.” Over fifteen years of friendship, and David and Stevie’s wine analogy was still alive and kicking. Patrick rolled his eyes and grinned, working the cork out of the bottle while David started serving the food.

“Speaking of red wine,” Patrick said, pouring them all a glass, “How is everything going with Nick in New York?”

Stevie took a sip of wine before she answered. “Things are good. We had a really nice time before I left last week. And we talk every day on the phone.”

“Just talk?” David interjected, raising his eyebrows.

“Let’s just say he’s very good at  _ talking _ ,” Stevie said. This seemed to satisfy David, since he gave her a small smile and a shoulder shimmy.

“It must be tough, though, being in a long distance relationship?” Patrick asked, trying to keep the conversation on track before it devolved into a discussion about the merits of phone sex.

“Yes. It is. When he kissed me goodbye at the airport, he told me he adored me. So...that’s been on my mind.”

“Stevie, that’s so sweet! Sounds like the L-word might be in your near future.” Patrick looked at Stevie with a twinkle in his eye.

David asked, perhaps a bit too casually, “Do you love him?”

“Maybe? I know I will if we continue seeing each other. I think I’m still a little gun-shy after the divorce with Michael. It’s only been a year. And if Nick and I got serious, it would only make sense for me to move to New York to be closer to him and the company headquarters. The Rosebud Group has a large presence in Ontario, but it would be hard to justify living in Schitt’s Creek if I had a job  _ and _ a relationship in New York.”

David glanced at Patrick briefly then turned to Stevie. “Moving to New York doesn’t sound like the worst thing in the world. I loved living there. For the city at least. The people sometimes sucked.”

“I don't mind working in the city, but I’m not sure I’d want to live there. It’s a lot.”

“I get that,” Patrick said. “I’ve visited Toronto a few times, and although it’s fun I’m definitely a small town guy.”

Stevie nodded. She took a deep breath in, sighed, and said, “It’s not just that.”

David and Patrick looked up from their plates at the same time, training their eyes on Stevie and giving her their full attention.

“We talked about my marriage with Michael on this trip. In detail. I let him know that Mike and I were in an open marriage. And also that I have been in open relationships in the past.”

“What was his reaction to that?” Patrick asked.

“He said he got it. That more and more people are choosing non-monogamy. But if we get serious about this, he would want to be exclusive.”

“Stevie Stratford, joining the ranks of the monogamous. We’ll welcome you with open arms.” David said, grinning.

“First, I’m in the process of changing back to Budd. It feels too weird to still have Michael’s last name. Second, joining the ‘ranks of the monogamous’ sounds a little scary to me.” Stevie shook her head. “If Nick and I are exclusive, I’ll get more invested and it will hurt more when he leaves.”

“He might not leave,” Patrick said quietly.

Stevie cast her eyes downward. “That might be even scarier.” Then she shook it off and tried to redirect the conversation. “Anyway, married and monogamous. You guys certainly make it look easy. How do you do it?”

“It takes work, for sure.” Patrick said, pausing to take a sip of his wine.

David waggled his eyebrows. “At least the work is fun.” 

Stevie rolled her eyes. “So it’s still a non-stop fuckfest after all these years, huh?”

Patrick laughed, almost spitting out his wine, and then answered simply, “No.”

“Could’ve lied,” David said, kicking Patrick under the table.

Patrick mouthed  _ Ow! _ and then reached across the table to take David’s hand. “Look, sometimes we can’t keep our hands off each other. And sometimes we go weeks or months without sex, especially when the business gets stressful. There’s an ebb and flow to marriage. You have to have realistic expectations.”

“And you have to be able to communicate. Really well. That’s been a challenge for us sometimes,” David added, gently squeezing Patrick’s hand. “Remember that huge fight we had after we got married?”

“Yeah, I was really worried about you guys.”

David nodded and continued. “After that fight we made the promise to always sleep next to one another and never go to bed angry, even if that meant staying up for hours to talk it out.”

Patrick rubbed his thumb over the back of David’s hand. “It’s tough sometimes. We can really get into it. But we always find our way back to each other.”

“And besides,” David added. “If you don’t fight every once in a while, you don’t get to have make-up sex.” 

The three shared a laugh and then fell silent for a bit. Stevie was the one to break the silence. “Since we’re talking about monogamy, I have to ask. It's been over fifteen years since you two started dating and there hasn’t ever been, shall we say, a  _ dalliance _ outside of the marriage?”

“No,” Patrick said, quickly shaking his head, “Is that really so hard to believe?”

“Not for you, Brewer. You basically have the word ‘monogamy’ tattooed across your forehead. It’s this one I was worried about.” Stevie nodded her head toward David.

David was indignant. “I’m sorry, what the fuck gave you that impression?”

”Oh, I don’t know...maybe it has something to do with the number of times you tried to get Patrick to sleep with other guys before he finally proposed to you?”

”I just wanted to make sure he wouldn’t feel like he had missed out on experiences with other guys once we’d been together for a while. I was being very generous!”

Even though he was sure Stevie was just trying to rile David up for the hell of it, Patrick felt the need to intervene. “I don’t feel like I missed out. Really. Besides, we watch a  _ lot  _ of porn, so it’s not like I haven’t seen plenty of naked guys.”

The image of Patrick and David sitting side by side and whacking off to porn flashed through Stevie’s mind. “Great visual image. Thank you for that. But what about you, David? Do you feel like  _ you’re _ missing out?”

David shook his head and looked at Patrick. “No. I had more than enough sex before I met Patrick. There were times in my life where I was with a different person every night. I got it out of my system and realized that most of what’s out there isn’t all that great.”

“David has a rich sexual history,” Patrick said teasingly.

Stevie nodded. “So I’ve heard. In sometimes unwelcome detail.”

David looked back and forth between them in a huff. “Did it ever occur to either of you that maybe I was looking for love? That I was looking to connect with someone in the only way that felt safe for me at the time, even if the connection only lasted for a little while and afterwards I felt more lonely than ever?” He took a breath and softened his tone. “Once we were married, sex was something I only wanted to have with Patrick. So the answer is no. Joke all you want, but I don’t miss having sex with other guys.”

Patrick smiled widely at the sincerity of David’s answer. But he had heard the last part of David’s sentence: I don’t miss having sex with other  _ guys _ . “Do you ever miss sex with women?”

“What?” David asked with genuine surprise. “Where is this coming from?” 

Patrick shrugged. “I’ve had sex with women and men...well  _ a _ man. But it never really felt right with women so I don’t miss it. But you’ve been with both and like both. I just wonder if you ever miss it. Being with a woman.”

“Patrick, for me sex has never been about the genitals. It’s about the person they’re connected to.”

“It’s a lot about the genitals for me,” Patrick said with a sly smile.

‘Oh my god,” Stevie whispered to herself, shaking her head.

“I know. I’m lucky I had the right set. Honey, sex with women is great, but I’ve never been lying when I say that no one compares to you. You’re all I need to be happy. You’re all I’ll ever need.”

Patrick and David looked into each other’s eyes with such affection that Stevie got it. She understood the type of love that made marriage and monogamy possible. 

“Ok you two. I think we should get to the movie before you start renewing your wedding vows.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Having David call Patrick out on his dirty socks just seemed like the kind of “honeymoon is over” moment that spouses can have after being married for a long time.
> 
> I named Stevie’s boyfriend Nick because Noah Reid’s middle name is Nicholas. The possible reference to Stevie Nicks did not cross my mind until well after this chapter had been written.


	7. Chapter 7

_7:12 PM_

_9 hours, 21 minutes before_

Once they were gathered in the living room with some snacks and the opened bottle of wine, David started searching the Interflix queue for the movie.

Stevie asked, “So what is this cinematic masterpiece about?” 

David ignored the dig. “It’s about a man who breaks off his engagement with his fiance because he is falling in love with his gay friend.”

“That’s a little on the nose, isn’t it?” Patrick laughed, feeling a little self-conscious.

Stevie, in a moment of uncharacteristic sincerity, said, “Let’s hope it turns out as good for him as it did for you.” Then she added with an elfish grin, “Let’s also hope we see Liam’s abs.”

Patrick looked at David, shaking his head and holding his hands out in a ‘ _Really?’_ gesture.

“I may have mentioned that you have a little crush on Liam Walker. I believe I also mentioned that it was a secret.” David shot Stevie a dirty look. She just shrugged her shoulders and popped a chip into her mouth.

“You know, it’s fine.” Patrick sighed. ”‘Gay guy likes a twink with washboard abs’ isn’t exactly headline news.” 

“If it’s any consolation, I think we get a flash of his butt in this one too.”

“David, just start the movie.”

As the opening titles began, Patrick reflected on his own journey toward realizing his identity as a gay man. Stevie was right. It had turned out really well for him, even if it started with pain and turmoil (as he imagined it so often did). Events from his past flashed through his mind in rapid succession. Each one was an act of courage as he stepped onto an uncertain path with no guide or mentor to lead the way, driven forward only by the deep conviction that he couldn’t go back.

*

_The day he held Rachel’s hands and broke her heart for the last time, when he told her he loved her but couldn’t marry her, and couldn’t answer when she asked him why._

_*_

_The drive where he watched his hometown recede in his rearview mirror, leaving behind his family, his friends, and everything he had ever known. Tears formed in his eyes, but he also breathed a sigh of relief as he shed the expectations and the tidy map of his future life that had settled over him like a suffocating blanket._

_*_

_The morning hikes during his first few months in Schitt's Creek. He would be driven out of bed at dawn with a sense of restlessness, needing to walk off the energy. He was desperately seeking a clear signal amidst the deafening noise inside his brain, trying to understand why everything in his life felt just a little off, like a picture that was out of focus._

_*_

_The reckless and thrilling decision to act on an impulse and pursue a business relationship with a fascinating man that he barely knew, and how that decision felt like a turning point, even if the reason why was still an unknowable shadow in the back of his mind._

*

He remembered the early days when he and David worked together to set up the store. Patrick’s fascination with David became all-consuming. He studied David’s mannerisms, how he styled his hair, his different types of smiles, and his incongruous combination of confidence and insecurity. He tried to understand the logic behind his fashion choices. He was intrigued by the discovery that David identified as "pansexual" and had sex with both women _and_ men. 

He and David worked well as a team, and it soon became apparent that they were becoming friends. This captivating man - who was so different from any friend that Patrick ever had in his previous life - seemed to genuinely like him. Patrick was elated. He looked forward to going to work every day, and that was a different experience too.

\---

_The morning after Rose Apothecary opened, he stood on the summit of Rattlesnake Point with the expansive view below glowing in the early sunlight. He traced patterns in the dirt at his feet with a fallen branch from a nearby tree._

_He thought back to when he offered to let David crash at his place when Alexis had lice. That’s what you do for a friend. David had already made plans with Stevie, so the logistics didn’t matter. But his ‘place’ was just a bedroom in another man’s house. What had he thought would happen? Would they have both slept in Patrick’s bed? Probably. But friends can do that. David and Stevie did that._

_And he thought about hugging David the night before. The opening of the store was a success. It was completely natural, after everything they had been through, to celebrate that success with a hug. Patrick had hugged his male friends before. This was just a hug with a friend. A long, close hug without the requisite thumps on the back to signify that it was a friendly hug with no subtext._

_His mind finally went quiet and the scattered puzzle pieces of his life that he had been mulling over on all of these hikes - looking at the edges but not understanding the picture they would form - finally came together in his mind. He let out a small “Huh”, and a short hesitant laugh. Then his breath caught and tears started spilling from his eyes, and then he was sobbing. He was overwhelmed with a sense of relief as years of doubt and confusion drained from his soul and he could finally admit that what he was feeling toward David was more than friendship - it was_ sexual attraction _. And this attraction was different from what he had felt toward Rachel or the handful of other girls he had dated. Patrick realized that he was gay._

_Even if he didn’t think he was ready to say the word out loud yet, he knew it in his heart. And he knew in that moment that he would need to steel himself for his next act of courage - to ask David out on a date. Even if David said no, he owed it to his newfound understanding of himself to at least try. There was always the possibility that David might say yes._

\---

And now he was sitting next to David Rose, a man who had been everything to him: a business partner, a friend, a boyfriend, a husband - a force that had challenged him to grow, to open his heart, and to become the truest version of himself. They had grown together like two trees whose roots met underground and wrapped together, ensuring they'd be forever a part of one another. Patrick was grateful for every twist of fate that had brought them together.

He remembered driving into Schitt’s Creek with two suitcases and his guitar, feeling like a coward. At the time it seemed like he was running away from his life. Now he could see that he had actually been running toward it the whole time.

Almost as if he was sensing that Patrick was thinking about him, David put his arm around Patrick and pulled him close, bringing his attention back to the present moment. Although he had missed the first few minutes of the movie, he smiled because he felt warm and safe, surrounded by the people he loved. 

***

After the movie, the three sat in the living room chatting idly. Patrick noticed that the snacks were gone and the wine bottle was empty. “Can I get anyone something else to eat or drink?”

Stevie shook her head. “Nah, I’m good. I should get going in a little bit anyway before it starts snowing again.” Then she looked at David, who gave her a little nod. “So, David said you’ve been writing a new song. Will you play it for me?” 

“Oh...well it isn’t finished yet, but I guess I can play you what I have?” Patrick retrieved his guitar from the wall mount where it hung behind the piano and took a minute to make sure it was tuned. 

“Here goes. I don’t have the chorus worked out yet, just the melody and the verses. Ironically, it’s called ‘Unfinished Song’.”

Patrick started playing. The opening bars of the piece were subdued and slightly melancholy. 

_We’re hard on ourselves, always thinking we’re broken inside,_

_That somehow we’re failing if everything doesn’t feel right._

_But we’re meant to stumble, we’re not really getting it wrong,_

_Each moment of life is a verse in an unfinished song._

Patrick hummed the melody for the chorus over the chord progressions, and then sang the last two verses.

_I see that you’re hurting, you feel like you’re losing your light._

_Well, I’m tired too but we don’t have to fix it tonight._

_So lie with me here, in my arms you don’t have to be strong,_

_I’ll sing you to sleep with a verse from our unfinished song._

_Our hearts are imperfect, we can both love and despise,_

_But when it’s all over, we’ll look back with gentler eyes._

_We’ll cherish the love that we made, and we’ll see all along,_

_We were each just a beautiful verse in an unfinished song._

As he strummed the final notes, Stevie swiped at her eyes. “Jeez, Patrick.”

“I know, it’s a little heavier than some of the songs I’ve written before. I’ve just been doing a lot of thinking lately and this seemed like a good way to work through some of it.” Patrick placed his guitar on the sofa next to him. 

“I mean, it’s good. I’m looking forward to hearing it when it’s done.”

“I’m gonna try and have it ready for the next Open Mic night on the 29th. Will you be in town then?”

Stevie looked at the calendar on her phone. “Yeah, I go back to the city on Friday for a couple weeks, but I’ll be back by then. Adding it to my calendar.”

“Great! I can dedicate my performance to you then.” Patrick smiled, and David gave her a little nudge with his knee.

“As sweet as that sounds, I think all your songs should be dedicated to your _lover_ .” Stevie looked at David and drew out the word _lover_.

“We’re not doing ‘lover’,” David said quietly, shaking his head.

“Ok. Dedicate all your songs to your _husband_.” Stevie stood up from the armchair and brushed a few crumbs off of her jeans. “Anyway, I should get going. Our talk over dinner gave me a lot to think about, you know, with Nick.”

Stevie helped carry dishes into the kitchen, and then grabbed her jacket. She hugged David and Patrick good-bye. “I love you guys. Thank you for being really good friends to me all these years.” She wasn’t sure where that came from. it wasn’t the type of sentiment that she would normally express. She gave a little head shake to brush it off.

“We love you too, Stevie. You’ll always have a home here,” Patrick said, putting his hand on her arm. 

“I think your song has made us all a little emotional.” David put his head on Patrick’s shoulder. 

“And it’s starting to get weird, honey.” 

That broke the spell and the three of them laughed. “On that note, I’m out. Have a great night guys. Thanks again for dinner.”

They waved to her and made sure she got to her car safely before closing the back door.

“I’m going to take care of the dishes before I head upstairs,” Patrick said. He gave David a kiss on his neck. “I’ll see you in a little bit?”

“I can give you a hand. You wash, I’ll dry?”

“Yeah. Sounds good to me.”

They stood side by side at the sink doing the dishes, talking about the movie and Stevie’s love life. It was just them, enjoying one of the countless domestic moments they had shared together in their home.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The lyrics to “Unfinished Song” are a poem I wrote during the inspiration phase for this story, please do not reprint it elsewhere.


	8. Chapter 8

_ 10:18 PM _

_ 6 hours, 15 minutes before _

After the dishes were done, they made their way around the house locking the doors and turning off the lights. At the base of the stairs, David reached out and took Patrick’s hand. Patrick brought his hand to his mouth and kissed it softly, eliciting a tender smile from David. They then walked upstairs hand in hand, Patrick letting David lead the way.

When they reached their bedroom, David gave Patrick’s hand one more squeeze then released it and made his way to his side of the bed. “You can use the bathroom first, hon. I’m going to journal for a little bit.”

“Ok.” Patrick grabbed his pajama bottoms and disappeared into the bathroom. He stripped from the waist down, giving his jeans a quick fold and placing them on the edge of the sink. Then he dropped his underwear and socks into the hamper. He picked up his pajama bottoms, but then paused when he caught his reflection in the mirror. Although it didn’t particularly seem like David was in the mood tonight, he had been pretty frisky at the store that afternoon. It might not be a bad idea to do a little manscaping, just in case. He retrieved the scissors that he and David reserved for this purpose from the drawer under the sink and started trimming any stray hairs that he found.

\---

_ They had been living in their new house for about six weeks, and business at the Apothecary had been picking up as people began preparing for the holidays and buying Christmas presents. After a particularly busy day, they came home, ordered a pizza, and crashed in front of the TV for a few hours. At 9:00, they decided to wash up and go to bed early. _

_ They had just gotten out of the shower. David had started applying his moisturizer and Patrick was still toweling off. Seemingly out of nowhere, David asked, “Have you ever done any manscaping?” _

_ “No, not really. I’m not a very hairy person so I guess I always thought it would be a good idea to hold onto whatever body hair I did have.” _

_ “You don’t have to shave it off. You just  _ refine _ it a little.” David picked up the small pair of scissors he kept in the bathroom. “Allow me?” _

_ Patrick bit his bottom lip. “Ummm, ok?” _

_ David set to work. “You just trim it back, paying special attention to the hair right at the base of your dick...like this...” As the light glinted off the shears in David’s hand, Patrick was struck by the odd mix of absurdity and intimacy present in the situation, and he kept trying and failing to suppress a giggle. _

_ “Am I tickling you?” _

_ “No, it’s just….this is new. No one has ever paid this much attention to my pubic hair.” _

_ David stepped back, apparently saw a spot he missed, trimmed a little more, and then stood next to Patrick in the mirror. “See?” _

_ Patrick gave a small nod - he could see the difference. His dick looked bigger. It helped that he had a semi from David’s focused attention on his groin. _

_ “You’re more of a show-er, so you always look pretty impressive. But every little bit helps.” David’s eyes narrowed a little. “Have you ever measured yourself?” _

_ Patrick looked hesitant. “No…” _

_ David’s mouth slowly twisted into his sideways smile. He put his hands on Patrick’s biceps. “Wait here.” David disappeared and Patrick could hear him rummaging around in his studio. _

_ “Sure, I’ll just, um, ...wait here. Staring at my dick in the mirror. Nothing weird about that,” Patrick whispered to himself. _

_ David returned, totally naked, with the tape measure hanging around his neck like a lewd tailor. He stood behind Patrick and stroked his dick with his right hand while he ran his left hand up and down his chest. Patrick turned his head so he could kiss David. Within a minute he was fully erect, but David kept stroking for a few minutes to make sure Patrick was as hard as possible. _

_ David stepped out from behind him and quickly brought the tape measure down. “I don’t have to do this in metric, do I?” _

_ “No, David. Canadians measure penises in inches too.” _

_ “OK, good. ‘Centimeter’ is not a sexy word.” David ran the tape measure across the top of Patrick’s erection. “Just about five and a half inches.” _

_ “Is that good?” Patrick asked, since he really had no frame of reference other than porn which he knew was an unrealistic comparison. “You’re longer.” _

_ “But not by much - less than an inch. Your dick is a good length. And you’re really thick.” David wrapped the tape measure around the base of Patrick’s cock. “Just a little over five and a half inches. And before you ask, yes, that’s good. And that is almost an inch bigger around than mine.” _

_ “So we complement each other well.” _

_ “I think so,” David said, bringing the tape measure around Patrick’s waist and pulling him out of the bathroom and toward the bedroom. _

\---

When he was done giving himself a trim, he neatly cleaned up his clippings and pulled on his pajama bottoms. He washed his face and applied his night time moisturizer, and then brushed his teeth. He turned to leave, but then went back and used a little mouthwash. Good to be prepared.

“All set,” Patrick said as he left the bathroom. David looked up and gave him a small smile in acknowledgment.

Patrick went over to the desk they had set up in the bedroom and turned on the laptop. He knew that you’re supposed to keep work and sleep separate, but both David and Patrick had occasional insomnia. It made sense to have a laptop in the bedroom so they could get stuff done for the business instead of lying awake obsessing about things they needed to get done for the business.

Patrick put on his readers and decided to catch up on his emails so that he could start the day with an empty inbox. David wrote in his journal for a few more minutes and then went into the bathroom to finish his night time routine. About fifteen minutes later, Patrick heard David walk to his side of the bed. He then heard the familiar  _ tink _ sound of each of his gold rings being placed into the bowl on the nightstand.

Without looking behind him, Patrick called out, “I’m just going to finish up a couple emails before bed, hon. I’ll be over in a few minutes.”

Patrick was surprised but delighted when he heard David right at his ear saying “I didn’t think you could get any sexier, but seeing you in those reading glasses is really doing it for me.” Patrick chuckled, but it caught in his throat when David placed his hands on his shoulders and ran them slowly down his chest until they were resting on his inner thighs. “Can the emails wait?”

“Yeah, fuck the emails.” Patrick stood, closed the laptop, took off his readers, spun to face David, and kicked the chair out of the way in one fluid motion. For someone as solidly built as Patrick, he was surprisingly agile when sex was the incentive. 

He crashed into David, pouring the pent-up passion of the day into a deep, probing kiss that left them both breathless. They separated only long enough to hastily pull off their T-shirts. Patrick brought David back against his body with a hand around his waist, running the fingers of his other hand through the hair on David’s chest. Their tongues twisted around each other as a guttural moan, almost a growl, tore out of Patrick’s throat. He had David’s bottom lip between his teeth, letting his teeth drag along the sensitive skin as he broke the kiss. He licked his thumbs and fingers and started rolling and squeezing David’s nipples. David dropped his head to Patrick’s shoulder with a sigh. Patrick turned his attention to David’s neck, his stubble scratching and warming the skin, and his licking and kissing soothing the rising burn.

David dipped his hands under Patrick’s waistband and let his hands roam over his ass. He kneaded his muscular glutes, finally pulling them apart slightly and letting a finger slip between his cheeks. He rubbed Patrick’s rim with slow circles. Patrick gasped, his breathing heavy near David’s ear. “ _ Oh my god _ ,” he muttered as David’s finger pressed deeper. 

David pushed his hips forward, bringing his stiff cock against Patrick’s. He lifted his head from Patrick’s shoulder and fixed his gaze on his husband’s eyes, which were smoldering with lust. Patrick reached down to cup David’s balls and rub the hard length of his erection. He could feel that precum had started to wet the thin fabric near David’s waistband. He couldn’t take any more - he needed David naked  _ now _ .

“Take your pants off and get on the bed,” Patrick ordered, taking a step back to shed his own pants. David quickly pushed his pajamas down, kicked them off, and scooted up the bed. 

Patrick kissed his toes and the soles of his feet, then moved his legs apart so he could crawl between them. He planted kisses along his calves, his inner thighs, his abdomen. He let his tongue trail up David’s chest and lightly flicked at each nipple. Then they locked lips and David felt Patrick’s weight settle on him. Finally they were together, chest to chest and cock to cock.

Patrick started moving his hips in a slow circle. Slick with his own precum, he relished the sensation of sliding against David’s stomach, and feeling David sliding against his. He lavished David’s jawline with kisses, finally settling on his earlobe. As Patrick licked and nibbled his ear, David took the opportunity to wet his middle finger and return his attention to Patrick’s asshole. He felt the heat of Patrick's exhale on his ear as he arched his back, letting David slip deeper.

“Fuck. I’ve been waiting all day for this” Patrick whispered into David’s ear, his voice gruff.

“Show me what you want to do.”

Patrick kneeled, sitting back on his heels. He scooched forward, using his knees to spread David's legs further apart. A pink flush had started to bloom on his face and chest. "You’re so fucking hot," David said, his voice trembling as Patrick took his cock in his hand. Patrick rubbed his thumb over the tip of David’s dick, spreading the droplet of fluid that had appeared there, making David’s head slick and shiny. He put his thumb in his mouth and savored the slightly salty flavor.

Patrick licked his hand and smeared his spit over David’s dick, then did the same to his own. He took both of their cocks into his right hand and started thrusting, just enough to create friction against their frenulums. His precum mixed with David’s, keeping their point of contract lubricated.

David began thrusting up into Patrick’s hand, finding the equal but opposite rhythm to maximize the length of each stroke. He could feel Patrick’s heavy balls brush against his own with each thrust. Every nerve ending in his groin was powering up. David closed his eyes and focused all of his attention on the impressive heft of Patrick’s cock and how it felt rubbing against his own.

And then suddenly that sensation was gone. David opened his eyes and started to look up to see what was happening, but then he felt Patrick’s tongue, warm and wet, licking from the base of his cock to the tip. He dropped his head back against the pillow, closed his eyes, and let out a low moan of pleasure. Patrick kept licking, over and over, starting a little lower each time until he was licking David from his asshole to the very tip of his cock, where he would take a second to twirl his tongue around the head. David was groaning, his cock so hard it ached. He pleaded with Patrick. “Please blow me.”

Patrick finished his last long lick and then slowly lowered his mouth over David’s cock until he had taken him fully. He then drew back just as slowly, applying just a bit of suction while he pressed his tongue against the ridge on the underside of David’s dick. He looked up at his partner, writhing in ecstasy, pushing himself upward into his mouth. He moaned/hummed against David and quickened his pace. He watched David carefully - he wasn’t ready for him to come yet. David was getting close to the edge. He was playing with his nipples and repeating “Fuck, fuck….Patrick….don’t stop.”

Patrick did stop, letting David’s cock slip out of his mouth while he moved lower to lick David’s balls. David whined a bit at the change in sensation, but then he cried out as Patrick spread his cheeks and began hungrily rimming him. David bent his knees and lifted his legs to give Patrick better access. He heard David let out an encouraging moan and a breathy “Oh...yeah...that’s good. Keep doing that”. He felt David’s body roll slightly toward the nightstand to grab the lube. He heard the pop of the cap, and then David was jerking himself off while Patrick focused all of his attention on his asshole.

David filled his senses. The sight of olive skin and black hair, the scent of musk and arousal, the taste of salt, the feel of responsive muscle under his tongue, and the sound of David’s slick hand gliding along his cock. For the next five minutes there was no part of his world that wasn’t David.

He knew David was close - his balls were tightening and pulling up toward his cock and his strokes were becoming faster and faster. He pressed his tongue inside David’s hole and kept it moving as much as possible. David yelled his name and fell over the edge, coming hard, moaning with every contraction. Patrick stayed with him, moving his tongue until he was certain David’s orgasm was complete.

David’s hand fell to his thigh as he relinquished his hold on his dick and basked in the afterglow of his orgasm. He slowly lowered his legs back to the bed. His eyes fluttered open when he felt Patrick’s tongue on his hand, licking his fingers clean. Patrick took in the scene before him, his husband spent and sated, white lines glistening against his abdomen. He rubbed his fingers through some of the cum, watching as it wet David’s skin, and then brought his fingers to his mouth. He wanted all of David tonight. After a few more tastes, Patrick reached under the bed, grabbed the towel they kept there, and wiped David’s abdomen clean. 

David slowly pushed himself to sit up and leaned against the headboard. “C’mere. I’m gonna need a minute but I wanna be close to you.” Patrick crawled up toward him. “Turn around, honey. But don’t touch yourself.” Patrick turned and sat between David’s legs and David wrapped his arms around him in a hug, pulling him back until he was up against his chest. Patrick turned his head so that they could share a slow, tender kiss.

Patrick felt the kiss become more heated as David got his second wind. David’s tongue pressed into his mouth and his hands moved up Patrick’s chest to his nipples. He rolled and flicked Patrick’s nipples, feeling them harden under his touch. Patrick moaned into his mouth. About two years into their marriage the wiring between Patrick’s nipples and cock finally woke up, and now nipple play was one of his favorite types of foreplay. David moved his kiss to Patrick’s neck, stealing a moment to lick his thumbs and rub them against Patrick’s nipples with deep pressure. 

“Oh, fuck… David... oh my god.” Patrick was gripping David’s thighs and breathing heavily.

“Get hard for me, baby. I want to see how hard your cock can be.”

Patrick’s cock responded to the nipple stimulation and the dirty talk, swelling and becoming fully hard again. His head was dusky red and leaking precum. 

“You’re so thick. I want to hold your huge, hard cock in my hand. I want to jerk you off.” 

“Touch me,” Patrick said, a cross between a whisper and a moan.

David trailed his right hand down Patrick’s chest and stomach. He lightly stroked the underside of Patrick’s cock with his fingertips, trying to ramp up his arousal as much as possible. His left hand moved between Patrick’s nipples, making sure each stayed hard and sensitive. Patrick was panting now. He brought his arm up so that he could cradle David’s head and pull him in for another kiss. Their tongues tangled together. Patrick pulled back slightly and whispered, “Make me come, David”. David opened his eyes and looked deeply into Patrick’s eyes, dark with need. “Make me come,” he repeated. 

David retrieved the lube, and soon his slick hand was on Patrick’s cock. He kept his strokes long, deliberate, and unhurried. Patrick rocked his hips slightly, matching David’s rhythm. Patrick felt his arousal building very gradually. His approach to orgasm was being prolonged by David’s pace, which was still slow and even despite the fact that Patrick was clearly getting close to the edge. The flush on his chest and face deepened, and David could feel sweat forming between their bodies. 

“I want to see you come for me,” David was whispering into Patrick’s ear, taking his husband to the point of no return. “I want to see you shoot.”

“I’m so close.” Patrick started breathing deeply, and with each breath he felt the sensations from his cock move deeper into his body, becoming impossibly more intense. When he finally slipped over the edge, he expected his orgasm to tear out of him like a shot, but it was different tonight. It rolled over his body in wave after languid wave. As each wave crested and crashed, Patrick let out a small yelp. The sensation was warm, and full, and soft.  _ It felt like love. _

David kept his hand moving until the last contraction subsided, and then he hugged Patrick close as his heart rate and breathing slowed to normal. Patrick’s awareness returned to his body, and it was then that he realized tears were rolling down his cheeks. David wiped them away with the gentlest touch possible, kissing Patrick’s temple as he did so.

“Hey, are you ok?” David asked, a hint of concern in his voice.

“Yeah,” Patrick said quietly. He was feeling drowsy and wasn’t sure he could find the words to explain how David had made him feel, so he said, “Thank you, David. That was amazing. It was really nice.”

“You’re so beautiful, Patrick. You don’t even know,” David whispered. Then he brought the towel over and cleaned Patrick’s body. They shimmied the sheet and comforter out from under them. David pulled the covers over Patrick. “I’ll be right back - you rest.” David got up, tossed the towel into the bathroom, and turned out all the lights.

He slipped under the covers on his side of the bed. Patrick moved closer, lay his head on David’s chest, and wrapped his arm around him, hugging his waist.

_ (I’ve never known love like I have when we’re together) _

“Love you, honey,” David said, planting a soft kiss on the top of Patrick’s head.

Patrick tightened his hug around David’s waist and listened to his heartbeat. “I love you too, David. So much.”

As he fell asleep in his husband’s arms, the last thought that drifted through Patrick Brewer’s mind was: _ Today was a good day. _

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted their last night together to be hot, but also really tender. Hopefully I struck the right balance.
> 
> This was originally going to be the end of the story, but something felt unfinished for me. I woke up two weeks ago (again at 3 AM), and the epilogue flowed out of my mind in nearly the form it appears here. I just refined it a bit over two days to make sure all the wording was exactly right. When I realized that the epilogue built a bridge between this story and “To Come Out the Other Side”, I knew that the story was complete.


	9. Epilogue

_Thursday, July 6, 2034_

_4:33 AM_

_Four months after_

David woke up to a dark room. The air was very still. Without a breeze, it was warm and muggy. He groaned and kicked the sheet off of his body.

He heard a creak downstairs. He knew the board in the living room floor that made that sound. Someone was in the house.

He walked into the hallway and turned on the light, flinching as the sudden brightness assaulted his eyes. He let his eyes adjust to the light for a moment, and then called out “Hello? Is someone down there?”

He didn’t know if he was actually expecting an answer. The house was silent. He was just being silly - no one was downstairs. He decided that since he was up he might as well go down and get something to eat. It was too hot to sleep anyway.

When he reached the top of the stairs, he could see that the living room was full of light. Which was weird, since it was the middle of the night. Had he forgotten to turn off the lights before going to bed? It wouldn’t be the first time.

He walked down the stairs cautiously. At the foot of the stairs, he stopped cold. He shook his head and rubbed his eyes. 

_This isn’t real._

Sunlight was streaming through the windows. He could hear birds singing outside. Patrick was sitting on the couch, looking out the window. He was wearing a light blue T-shirt and a grey hoodie. His socked feet were crossed at the ankle on the coffee table.

David gasped, and Patrick turned to face him, smiling broadly.

“Good morning, Sunshine.”

“Patrick? How are you here? You're….” David couldn’t bring himself to say the word. The word he knew to be the truth.

“Dead? I know. But here I am.” Patrick put his feet on the floor and sat up straighter. He patted the sofa next to him, inviting David to join him.

David walked over to the couch and sat down. Patrick was looking at him with his beautiful whiskey-colored eyes. David reached out his hand and cradled Patrick’s jaw. He leaned in and pressed his lips to Patrick’s, and Patrick kissed him back. It was a small and perfect kiss.

_This isn’t real._ But it felt real. It felt as real as anything that David had ever experienced.

David pulled back from the kiss and looked into Patrick's eyes again. He was overwhelmed with emotions and he started sobbing.

“Oh, honey, c'mere,” Patrick said. David rested his head in his lap. Patrick placed his left hand on David’s shoulder and stroked his hair with his right hand. He started humming the melody to _Unfinished Song_ , almost like a lullaby, comforting his husband while he cried.

After several minutes, David was able to stop crying and fell silent. He gripped Patrick’s knee, desperate to maintain the connection. Patrick stopped humming. They just sat together in silence, Patrick slowly stroking his hair.

“Patrick, I don't think I can go on without you.” David’s voice was barely a whisper.

He heard Patrick's voice above him, gentle and soothing. “Shhhhh... It's ok. I'll always be here for you. I love you, David.”

“I love you too.”

And then he woke up. He sighed and looked at the clock: 4:33 AM. He reached over to Patrick's side of the bed, which was empty of course. He cried until he ran out of tears and then stared at the ceiling until the first light of dawn started to illuminate the room. 

***

He was in the breakfast nook, starting his second cup of coffee and absentmindedly doodling in his sketchbook when his phone pinged with a text. He looked up at the clock above the sink. Who the fuck was texting him at 6:42 in the morning?

It was Caleb. After Patrick died, David promoted Caleb to manager of the Schitt’s Creek store. Once Caleb had been fully trained, David stopped going to that store unless it was absolutely necessary. He was running the online portal and meeting with vendors, which kept him busy enough. If he needed something else to distract him, there was always work to do at the larger stores in Elmdale and Elm Glen.

**Caleb:** Hi David, sorry for texting, but it's so early… I'm sure you're still asleep. I won't be able to make it in today. I've been throwing up all night. I'm sorry. Call me when you're up?

David’s mind started spinning.

_You don't get to be sick!_

_You've been throwing up all night? I dreamed about my dead husband. I win._

_If I call you, then I have to talk to you._

_If I talk to you, I’ll start crying again._

_If I start crying again I might never stop._

David took a deep breath. He texted back. 

**David:** I'll cover the store. Caleb, please go to urgent care. Make sure you're all right. 

Caleb's reply came within seconds.

**Caleb:** David, you're awake? Are you all right?

_No, I'll never be all right again._

**David:** I'm fine. I've got the store. Text me later and let me know how you're doing. Please.

**Caleb:** I will. Thank you David. I'm sorry. 

David wasn't sure if the last _I'm sorry_ was because he was calling out for the day, or because he was sorry David was hurting. Caleb was a kind and sensitive man. He could always tell how David was feeling. And right now, David did not want Caleb to know how he was feeling. He felt like his insides had been hollowed out and filled with an ever-present ache. He just wanted to be done.

**David:** It’s ok. I hope you feel better soon.

He drank the rest of his coffee, wrote FUCK EVERYTHING in his sketchbook with so much pressure that it broke his pencil point, and went upstairs to shower since he had to leave the house now. 

***

David stopped at the cafe to get breakfast, but also to delay his arrival at the Apothecary for as long as possible. He was wearing sunglasses to hide the fact that he looked like hell from crying on and off all morning. He listlessly slid onto one of the stools at the counter.

When Twyla spotted him she stopped over. “Hi David. How are you doing today?” There was a slight tremble in her voice. 

“Not great. I'm just gonna get a blueberry muffin to go. Please.”

“Ok, just a sec.” She walked over to the new bakery case that she had installed during her renovation of the cafe. She selected the largest blueberry muffin that she had and bagged it up for him. When she turned back, David had taken off his sunglasses and was rubbing his eyes. 

“David, what's wrong?”

He gave her a hard look that was meant to convey: _Really? What's wrong? I buried my husband four months ago and it still seems like yesterday._ But then he sighed and his eyes became glassy with tears. Twyla was a friend, and she truly cared about him. She deserved better than that.

"I dreamed about Patrick this morning."

“Was it a... good dream?” 

He understood the significance of her pause. The question Twyla was asking was: _Was it a good dream or a nightmare?_ Three weeks after Patrick died, David had stopped into the cafe in the evening after training Caleb all day. He was exhausted and distraught. Twyla brought him to a booth and held his hands. He wept and told her he had been having a recurring nightmare about waking up next to Patrick’s still, silent body. So her question was justified. 

David placed his sunglasses on the counter and scrubbed his face with his hands. "Yeah. It was a good dream. I kissed him, and he held me, and I heard his voice. It was a _very_ vivid dream. It felt like he was really there with me."

“He found you.” She was smiling, but a tear rolled down her cheek all the same. 

"What?" David was genuinely confused. He was used to Twyla being a little out-there, but he really wasn’t sure what she meant by that.

"When my grandfather died, I would dream about him a lot, especially that first year. Sometimes it was clearly just a dream. But sometimes it was different. It would feel real - like he was actually with me. I talked to my grandmother about it. She said that sometimes the people we love come back to let us know they're ok."

_(It’s ok. I'll always be here for you. I love you, David.)_

David looked down at his hands. His chest felt heavy and sore. "I don't believe in an afterlife."

“I can understand that. Death is a mystery. But I do believe that sometimes after someone crosses over, they can find us in our dreams. Dreams exist in the space between the world of the living and the world of the dead."

This was becoming too much. David shook his head. "No. It was just a dream. Just my mind trying to convince me that Patrick is still alive." His voice was raspy.

"Maybe it was just a dream.” She put her hand on his. “It can still be meaningful."

“Yeah,” he croaked, and then tried to clear his throat. He reached into his back pocket for his wallet. 

Twyla held up her hand. "This one's on me. Take care of yourself, David."

He nodded and awkwardly put his sunglasses on. He was not going to start sobbing in the middle of Twyla's Cafe Tropical. "Thank you, Twyla."

He stepped outside. It was only 9 AM but the sunlight already felt harsh. David slowly closed the distance between the cafe and the Apothecary. He stood outside the locked door and stared at his reflection in the glass. His mind was flooded with a jumble of memories. Memories of Patrick, of the two of them, of the time they had spent together in this store.

Finally, he took a deep breath, muttered "Fuck", and fished the keys out of his pocket. He unlocked the door to Rose Apothecary and stepped inside, bracing himself to face another day of pretending to be ok when all he wanted to do was curl up in the corner and cry. 

David put his muffin on the counter and went to the backroom. He saw Patrick’s tattered grey cardigan draped over the chair at the desk. How was it still here after all this time? And how had he not seen it before today? But then again, he remembered very little of the time he had spent in the store while training Caleb during that first month after Patrick’s death. He was in shock and moving through life on autopilot. As much as possible he had tried to stay out of the backroom - the place where he and Patrick had shared so many lunches and intimate moments. This morning was the first time he was really seeing the store again since the last day he and Patrick had spent together.

He picked up the cardigan and brought it to his face. The wool was slightly scratchy. It still smelled faintly of Patrick’s deodorant and aftershave. His breath caught and he choked back a sob.

_Damn it, Patrick. Knits need to be stored flat._ He carefully folded the cardigan and placed it on the highest shelf of the shelving unit where they kept the backstock for their best sellers. A tear spilled from each eye and he quickly brushed them away. He refused to cry any more this morning.

_(I’ll always be here for you)_

For a split second, he allowed himself to believe that. That maybe a part of Patrick was still out there somewhere. And that maybe someday he would see him and be able to hold him again.

He went to the safe, took out the money for the day, and opened the Apothecary for what turned out to be an ordinary Thursday in July. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first time I have written a story in nearly 20 years. If you’ve made it this far, thank you so much for reading and I hope it was meaningful for you.
> 
> I know it is sad to think of Patrick dying and David being left alone, but writing is sometimes a way for me to work through life’s low points as well as its high points. Right now we are being reminded about a lot of life’s low points. Stay strong everyone. Together we can make the world a more loving and accepting place for all.
> 
> Love,  
> Tailor1971

**Author's Note:**

> I sought to maintain any details that were explicitly mentioned in unfolded73’s story (for example the location of their stores).
> 
> I mapped a timeline for this story using dates and timeframes that I could extract from key episodes (this is never easy; time doesn’t always make sense in the SC universe so I did my best). If anyone is really interested is seeing me nerd out on this, let me know and I’ll add an afterword with my thought process. Basically, I reject the idea put forth in season 6 that the whole show took place in three years and arrived at 2020 as the most likely year for their wedding.
> 
> This places Patrick’s death in 2034, after their thirteenth wedding anniversary in September 2033 . In “To Come Out the Other Side”, it states that David visited Patrick’s grave when spring was in full bloom, so I picked Saturday, May 19, 2035 for that scene. Working backwards, Patrick’s death occurs in the early morning hours of Monday, March 6, 2034. I set David’s age at 49 (5 years older than Alexis), and Patrick’s age at 46.
> 
> In order to show the passage of time since the canon story ended, I looked for ways to evolve David and Patrick’s personal styles that would seem like a natural progression for them and reflect the influence they would have had on each other. Since David is fashion and style conscious, it made sense to me that his change would have been more dramatic than Patrick’s.


End file.
